does anybody remember laughter?

so my sense of humor has gotten me in trouble, or at least pissed off a few people lately.  yawn.  if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't have the time to explain it to you.  i mock myself more than i make fun of others.  so that goes to say i mock myself a great deal, because i make light of "hollyweird" and the like.  especially fame whores.  if you live your life to be famous FOR NOTHING BUT BEING FAMOUS chances are great that i'm going to make fun of you at some point.  but that also says chances are twice as good that i'm going to make fun of myself, too.  twice as much as i make fun of starfuckers, pardon the term.

but it seems that some people, and their fragile sensibilities, can't handle that.  and called me out, in their blog.  it's the second time this person has called me out, albeit "anonymously," even though a lot of the people reading the blog are friends of both of us.  now, i don't think it's right to ridicule me, call me names for making fun of someone that made a poor fashion choice and got compared to shamu.  in fact, i think it's fucking hypocritical to do so.  this person points out my faults, but i've never mentioned any of hers, and there is plenty i could mention, believe me.  but i'm not a vindictive, bitter woman that has to make myself feel superior by tearing down another person i know.  yes, i'll make fun of starlets and their lack of common sense, but i would never call one of my "friends" stupid, angry, bitter, jealous, ill-informed, cruel, the list goes on.  i was called a litany of names.  i had a lot of anger directed at me.  there's an "unfriend" button, and i used it for about the second time.  it was, in my opinion, hypocritical to write a blog criticizing me for making fun of a dress choice.  no need to respond here, your comments will be deleted.  that's what "unfriending" does.  it cuts all ties.  i've had to do that a few times in my life.  i thought that this person was someone i could confide in, we shared a few of the same secrets.  well, i was wrong.  my judgement of people is flawed.  hey, i'm human after all!  lookey there, i made a mistake.  i trusted someone who just turned around and ripped me to shreds publicly.

well, i'm not about to do that to that person.   the lesson i took away from that is to laugh when you want to, which is what i intend to do.  if my friend, the yogini that never says a harsh word about anyone posted the same thing on her fb page and got lots of laughs about it (psst, i shared it from her.  i didn't go hunt it down.  a very good friend thought it was funny, saw the humor of the situation, and so did i) i didn't see the harm.  especially considering said famous for nothing person is a fat hater.  yes, yes she is.  she tells people all the time that they look fat, that they're fat, she told her own sister when she was pregnant, that she was fat.  what you put out, you get back three fold.

so i got told off, by an angry woman.  and another of our friends (who ALWAYS backs her) jumped on the bandwagon.  buh-bye.  this is the first time i've let myself actually write about it.  i'm culling the herd, as it may be.  post a negative comment, i don't give a shit.  i'm sure i'll be better off without you.  i don't have time in my life for negativity.  i pile it on myself enough for ten people.  so give me a fucking break!  get a sense of humor.  this is the last that i will say about the subject.  i'm done.  time to laugh on.

new stresses or old foes?

i've gotten this familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach over the last few days.  that, "there's something wrong, i just know it," feeling.  is it a new stress or an old one coming to the surface?  or....a combination of both, the worst case scenario?

i fear it's the worst of both worlds.  its going to be a long talk with the good dr., and a lot of work on my own.  and a lot of apologizing to my family for things that i've been doing.  i can't go into specifics, but all i can say is that things have been up and down, much like a roller coaster on steroids lately.  and that has to stop.  too much nonsense from me, causing too much stress for me and hubby.  time to dial it down.  i know that these amps go to 11, but i think 5 or 6 is just dandy.  dial it down, already!  and maybe, just maybe sleep will come.  on its own.  and that would be a very welcome change.