Sunday, December 30, 2012

under my thumb

i've been living someone else's life for the past 20 years, approximately.  it's certainly not the one i've been intending to live.  i've let everyone's prejudices and opinions color my thoughts and actions.  no longer will i do that.  i am going to try to live true to my heart.  i've pretty much announced my intentions on this blog, and i've not heard word one from those "friends" that seem to care so much about me.  i haven't heard a peep from them.  i guess i now know what i suspected all along.

as long as i was under their control, thought and action, i was okay as a friend.  but now that i'm fed up, and really trying to find out who i am, at almost 50 years of age, they no longer want to be friends with me.  okay.  so be it.  i'm grateful that i've determined my true intentions and that i am trying to chart my course.  it's going to be very lonely at times, like right now.  i have no one to lean on, but i guess that's what i'm meant to experience, so i know this is what i truly need in my life.

under their thumbs no more.

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