Feel
God's light shining within you and take a step to inspire someone else
to shine. As you share this vision today with just one soul, that
reaches ten lives that touch a thousand.
i get these little messages sent to me on facebook. someone feels i need God's advice. and truthfully, i'm still trying to figure out the whole God thing. i've struggled with it for almost 40 years now. ever since the death of a friend's father. you see, he was a minister. a very, very good man. and i felt safe at their house, when i didn't or couldn't feel safe at my own home. it's a blessing and a curse growing up in a very small town. everyone knows your business and family troubles, but there is always someone there to lend a hand. and my saving grace was the Lutheran minister and his family. his daughter was one of my best friends in school. they lived about a block and a half away from me, and i could easily run the distance, if things got a little out of hand at home. and i often did. or i would run until the street dead ended, at the cemetery. i'm not one of those people creeped out by cemeteries, i find them beautiful and peaceful. when i lived in london, i would often go on walks and find a cemetery and just wander through it, looking at the dates on the grave stones, imagining what life was like in the city at that time.
well, their home was a happy home. it was filled with laughter, music, love, art, literature - all the things missing from my home. there wasn't a lot of laughter. there was some, but not a lot. music? what my father would allow, and only what he would allow. my eldest sister eventually got a stereo and started buying her own music and that is the music i love to this day. joni mitchell, carol king, linda ronstadt, the eagles, the beatles. i'm very influenced by those early experiences. art? there was none. literature? i went to the library as much as possible. i would just sit down in the stacks and start reading. i was reading at college level when i was still in elementary school. my parents didn't understand it. it was because the library was another safe place. i would just pull books off the shelves and read. it didn't matter what it was, i would read everything. and when i got home, what did we have in the house? not literature but the encyclopedia brittanica. and i read it. as much as possible. i would grab a volume and just read. it was an escape for me. i could hide in a book. i could fly off to some foreign land, explore a different time, become a different person. books are magical, one of the best things EVER invented. and love. i know my parents loved me. they just weren't very demonstrative. which brings me to my point today.
i have two very good friends that are celebrating birthdays today. two AMAZING women, that both have had their personal battles, and have come through them successfully. and i've been blessed to have them in my life. one has been a friend for almost 15 years. every day i consider a gift. she has brought so much into my life. she's a calming influence. she's grounding me when i'm upset, reminding me that there is only so much that i can control, and i have to just let the rest of it fall away. what a blessing Laura is.
then there is a new friend. we've known each other for about 7 years, but we've just started to become friends in the past few months. she's very artistic, a free spirit. she celebrates her life through her art, photography and her family. it hasn't always been easy for her, but she's fought through quite a bit and has carved out a space for herself and her children, and a very good relationship with someone she truly cares for. Lani reminds me of the caterpillar that became a beautiful butterfly.
so it's to honor them that i'm striving to be a better person. i'm trying to put past grievances aside. to celebrate what i can in each day. to find something beautiful in everyone. because it's there. you may have to look a little deeper than you think you'd like to, but give it a try. it's there. you never know what you're going to learn from whom. i'm hoping that they will find this an acceptable effort, (i can't quite call it a gift, can i?) for their birthdays. i'm very fortunate to have these women in my life. i had almost cut myself off from the outside world, but i just couldn't do that. there's a need in each one of us for communication, understanding and companionship. and in different ways, i get that from these two. so ladies, happy birthday. i love you both. i wish only the best of all wishes for you. you both are my heart, in more ways than you know.
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